A Warranty On Love

“You don’t have to keep ringing the bell. I’m standing right —”

“You’re not listening. Find me someone that’ll listen.”

The attendant sighed and left the customer service desk.

Heidi tapped her foot, impatient but knowing she’d win. She always did. Opening the lid of the box once more, she looked inside at the perfectly functional appliance. Her smugness was interrupted by an elderly gentleman. He landed on the counter, releasing his own boxed appliance.

“Bugger this,” he wheezed. As he turned and noticed Heidi, a charming smile spread across his face. “Why, hello there.”

“Good day,” she smiled. “Don’t get any ideas, old timer. This is just business.”

“Of course. Although, old timer? Don’t get me wrong, you’re a dashing young delight,” he teased, taking in the beautiful eighty-year-old woman in front of him, “but you’re making me sound past my prime. I still have some dance moves left. I’m Luc.”

“Heidi.”

The attendant returned and immediately sighed at the sight of two appliances waiting for refunds.

“I need to return this tea pot,” Luc smiled.

“What’s wrong with it?”

“Nothing. It was an absolute delight. But I actually wanted a kettle,” Luc announced. He turned his attention to Heidi’s boxed tea kettle. “What’s wrong with yours?”

“It doesn’t boil.”

The attendant interrupted.

“I tested the appliance. It works just fine. I think —”

“I’m an elderly woman who just wants a good cup of tea. Why would you accuse me of lying? Is it because I’m old? I could be someone’s grandmother!”

Other customers started to notice.

“I’ll take her kettle,” Luc sighed. “You can give my refund to this lovely young lady.”

“You won’t want it,” Heidi snorted. “It doesn’t heat things up the way it should.”

“I’ve never had that problem before.”

Luc and Heidi stared at one another, entranced. The attendant stood in silence before shaking their head, ringing through the exchange and refund, and leaving the shop floor to reflect on what they’re doing with their life.

*

“You didn’t have to do that,” Heidi whispered, escorting Luc out of the store. “I’ve been doing this for years. I haven’t had to buy a new appliance in decades.”

“What would your grandchildren think,” Luc smirked.

“What grandchildren? Do you know something I don’t?”

They gazed at each other once more.

“Spend the day with me,” Luc announced. “Just one day, that’s all I ask. If you like my moves, maybe we can extend beyond the initial warranty.”

Heidi stepped back, debating.

“Fine.”

“Fine?”

“Yeah, fine.”

“Don’t do anything you don’t want to do. This isn’t a hostage situation.”

“I said fine! Will you just accept it?” she laughed.

And laugh, they did. Luc knew every street, every park, every local in their city, and this wasn’t his first spontaneous date with a fiery spirit.

First, they visited the old markets. Not the ones that the tourists swamp, the other ones. They shared a platter of grilled cheese whilst cracking awkward jokes and exchanging stories.

Second, Luc took her to his favourite street for buskers. Whilst Luc watched on, Heidi studied him and wondered why she’d lost his focus. After a while, she joined his gaze and let the music into her soul. Listening to a young girl perform a remix of a song Heidi had once loved, Luc reached across and held her hand. His palm was soft, his fingers comforting. She wanted to resist, but something about Luc felt safe.

By the afternoon, they’d shared lunch at a quiet café, visited a library where they spent half an hour reading the start of each other’s favourite books, gate-crashed a yoga class in the park, and were now taking a late afternoon stroll.

“How am I doing so far?” Luc checked, stroking Heidi’s fingers as she held onto his arm.

“Not bad. Is this what you do every day?”

“Ask out beautiful women on spontaneous dates?”

“Yes, I guess.”

“Sometimes. We don’t have long left. Why not enjoy life whilst we can? You have some cheese on your cheek.”

Heidi started to wipe at it.

“How long has that been there?”

“Since the markets. I didn’t want to say anything. I thought it might make you more susceptible to my cheesy jokes.”

Heidi stopped and glared at him.

“That was awful.”

“I know. Fortunately, all we have left on the agenda is a cup of tea at your house and a dance in your living room. If you’d have me, that is?”

Heidi scrunched her face up, angry at her growing infatuation.

“Why not? We don’t have long left, right?”

*

Hand in hand and cheek on shoulder, they swirled and moved around the room, Heidi following each step that Luc took, feeling her body against his and relishing the warmth. Turning up towards her new companion, her nose brushed his neck and she found herself overcome with lust.

“You know, you can stay the night, if you like?” Heidi whispered, nervous, as if eighteen-years-old once again. “It is getting dark, after all.”

“I have to get home,” Luc smiled, taking a graceful step back.

“But I haven’t felt this alive in years,” she insisted.

“If this is what it feels like to be alive, you may need to take it back for a refund.”

Heidi smiled, “I’m serious.”

“So am I.”

Luc gestured to his right. In the heat of the moment, Heidi had lost track of her surroundings. She found herself looking down at her frail old body as it lay slumped and vacant in her favourite armchair.

“I don’t understand.”

Lucifer swirled his fingers and opened a portal. Dry heat rushed into the room as distant flames danced in the night, beckoning Heidi.

“Come on, my dear. Let me get you that cup of tea. I promise you’ll never have to deal with a faulty kettle again. After all, the water always boils in my home.”

At first, she hesitated. But for once, Heidi was willing to see something beyond its warranty.